Trying to take it one day at a time, but sometimes the days attack me all at once!

Well well, this is a new season of theater in school which inspires kids to do more than what is required for school.
they are:
creating an entire musical production by themselves
planning a yard sale to fund props and costumes.
creating/editing thier own play scripts.
creating the entire production by them selves with no adult help.


They already have fans that are expecting to see this play and have already asked about when the show will be. To this, i have no answer for, as all i can say is ask them because they are not accepting help from any adults.

This is a gallant kids' production that is being taken very seriously for all the kids who tried out for parts and the ones who didn't get a part still have other jobs in this production of the Broadway musical Wicked.

This will be a very sweet and very awesome event in these kids' lives as they are working on this on thier own time and very dutifully i might add. even have gone so far as to do extra chores and keep all grades up so as to not interfere with (or take time away from) this play and the "scheduled" events that lead up to its final product.

" Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing."
~ Anais Nin

So, Valentine's is yet again around the corner. Alone again I will spend this one like almost all the ones before. I think that there is no Valentine for me in this world and that if there is I missed out on him.

sigh........................i can do nothing that doesnt lead me to thinking of him, a could be, would be, should be Valentine.

i can no longer seem to find the fun in any of my favorite computer games now.......im finding it hard to have fun period.

A young girl my kids were school mates with, was kidnapped in Oct 2008 walking on the same block as here home, and was found very near my home in a badly decomposed state...........cause of death is still unknown as well as how long shes been dead. she was found within sight of a busy walkway near a drainage ditch. this hits home hard. she was here at my house just weeks before she came up missing. that could of easily been any one of my four girls............i am very grateful and thankful they are safe and well.



I have recently found my self in another vulnerable state where again i feel like a fool. I try not to make new friends and i try not to meet anyone i may have a potential interest in, i do try.....i dont go anywhere, i dont dress up anymore.....but still i manage to get my heart tangled up in places it has no business being. talk about being rejected. I cant believe i set myself up for that. just when i thought i could withstand those kind of vibes..i let my guard down.....i think to myself "hell its the internet, what could happen?" well its that stupid question that gets me in this state every time...."what could happen" this question is my demise.......